Rhapsody in Orange Read online

seem fond of them already, and they of you, not to mention each other."

  Eile went numb with terror, and she felt Sunny shake as her hands went cold and clammy. The thought of being imprisoned in Carcosa for all eternity seemed worse than that of Hell itself.

  She giggled. "Yes, a wonderful idea! I could make them the Countesses in Brown and Gold. Oh, they will make wonderful additions to my stock of toys!" She laughed in a merry tone that still sounded like a croak of doom. "And together, we can destroy my brother once and for all, and seize the throne from my dull and gloomy parents. Just imagine it! A universe reshaped in my bubbly, cheery manner."

  Then she grew pensive. "But, now, there is an issue we must address, before we can proceed. My family is mad, all of them, each in his or her own way, and for you to become one of us, you must be mad, too." She sighed. "Business before pleasure." Her eyes flamed. "Might as well get it over with." The fiery aura returned and her voice resonated again. "Then--oh, the fun we'll have!" And she loomed up and over them.

  Eile and Sunny retreated with Differel towards the back wall, all of them on the edge of blind panic. She raised Caliburn and shouted, "Vlad!"

  The Princess snapped back to her 'normal' form as the Master Vampire appeared behind her. "Oh, please. Do we really need him under foot?"

  "Are you all right, My Master?" he rumbled. His expression looked worried as he took in the tableau.

  "Destroy her!" Differel commanded, pointing at the Princess.

  He blinked, genuinely perplexed, as he looked where she indicated. "Who?"

  The Princess laughed, which at that moment sounded more like a wail of lunacy. "He cannot see me! No one can, unless I allow it."

  Dracula looked back at them. "Sir Differel, you need help." He tried to make his deep bass voice sound gentle.

  "Theeeen, how can we see you?" Sunny squeaked.

  "In your encounter with my brother--" She put as much disgust into that word as she could manage. "--he made it possible to see him. Once you can see one of us, you can see all of us, at any time."

  "Let me take you to Aelfraed," Dracula persisted. "He can make you some tea, and then we can take you to a place where you can get the rest you need."

  "Is that so? Dracs! Read my mind!"

  He stared at Sunny, as if unable to believe what he heard. "What?"

  Eile wasn't sure what she was getting at, but Differel seemed to grasp it immediately. "Do it, Thrall!"

  He sighed. "Very well." And he focused on Sunny, drilling deep into her head. Eile sometimes wondered what chaotic visions he saw in there.

  The Master Vampire gazed at her for some moments, then he stiffened, his face agape with shock, and he whipped his head around to stare in the direction of the Princess. She in turn jumped and gazed up at him, with what Eile believed was an 'oh, shit' expression.

  "Clever girl, you little minx!" The Princess snarled, looking back at Sunny, as her eyes flamed.

  He pulled out one of his backup .600 Nitro Express Magnum revolvers and aimed for her head. "Do not even think it."

  At the sight of the gun her eyes bulged out again as she grinned wide. "Ah, such a big weapon!" She ran her fingers along the barrel. "So long and stiff. You must've given many much pleasure with it. Let me take some as well." And she took the muzzle into her mouth as he stared at her in disbelief, his lip curling with disgust.

  Differel whipped around to face her and Sunny. "Cover!" She pushed at them, then addressed Dracula: "Do it!"

  Eile got the message, and she and Sunny sprinted for the desk. She threw herself and her partner on the floor behind the great oaken structure as Differel landed on top of them, moments before an explosive retort shattered the air, followed by the concussive thud of a massive slug flattening against an armored wall. She looked up over the edge of the desk with Sunny and Differel, and saw Dracula still pointing the gun at the Princess. Her body stood in the same spot, but her head had vanished.

  Then it blinked back into existence, wearing an ecstatic expression. "Oh, that was wonderful! A little too quick for my tastes, but you certainly have an amazing technique! Your Master must be very pleased with you!"

  Differel stood up and ran around the desk to stand beside Dracula, Caliburn appearing in her hand.

  "Aw, no fair! Two against one!"

  Even as the Princess spoke, a kaleidoscope effect appeared in the air beside her, and out of it leapt a figure dressed as a court jester and colored in various shades of violet. From each hand sprouted a long, slightly curved blade.

  "Ah, much better," she chortled. The Jester leapt at Dracula even as the Vampire aimed at him. He swiped with one hand and sliced off his gun arm below the elbow, and swiped with the other and slashed through his body as he hurtled past. Dracula dissolved into shadow and reformed, whole again, and as the Jester turned for another attack he lunged at him and grappled with him.

  Differel had watched the pas de deux in a hesitant manner, as if uncertain whether to help, but she turned her attention back to the Princess when she spoke.

  "Come, Cousin, while they're occupied, let's dance!" And she sprinted towards the aristocrat. Differel swung Caliburn as she maneuvered, but the Princess dodged and swerved out of the way each time. Though for the most part Differel held her at bay, the Princess landed an occasional blow, such as a kick to the stomach or a smack to the face, but she never pressed her advantage as Differel recovered and regrouped. Eile got the impression the Carcosan toyed with her.

  "We've gotta help!" Sunny squeaked.

  "I'm open to suggestions!" she shot back. Then she looked her partner in the face and saw a knowing stare.

  "Sweet Jesus, you can't be serious!"

  "It's the only way!"

  "But that'd be like trying ta put out a fire with gasoline!"

  "Gasoline can extinguish a fire, if it drowns it first."

  Eile felt her anger flare. "That's not what I meant, ya butthead!"

  "I know! But it's the only thing we can do, and I'm sure it'll do the trick!"

  Eile hesitated, glancing at the four fighting figures. Even Dracula seemed outclassed, and she didn't want to just sit by and do nothing to save them. Besides, Sunny had an uncanny knack of intuiting the right response to a problem. But what if that time she was wrong?

  She shook her head. "Aw, cripes. Yer right, we don't have any choice. But this had better work, or I'll bust yer ass!"

  She held out a fist, and Sunny touched it with her own. A three-dimensional object appeared above them, like a globular puzzlebox colored in shades of blue.

  "Le Prince dans le Bleu," they chanted in unison. The globe opened, shifted its parts, and spun in a chaotic manner as it rearranged itself. Then a kaleidoscope effect appeared in front of the back windows. Out stepped a tall, thin, dapper young man, clean-shaven, short-haired, and devilishly handsome, dressed in somber Regency attire.

  But he was colored in shades of blue.

  He smiled at her and Sunny as the effect vanished when the object closed back into a globe, but an instant later his attention was drawn to the battle in the front of the room. His visage clouding with cold rage, he jumped forward in a high arc and landed on the top of the back of Differel's chair, crouching like a gargoyle.

  "Enough!" His voice shook the room. The Jester had Dracula in a death grip, ripping him apart with the blades, while the Princess stood over a fallen Differel, her eyes and hands flaming. Both looked up at him.

  "Fool!" He addressed the Jester. "You are not needed here. Begone!" A kaleidoscope appeared behind it and sucked it away as Dracula collapsed and disappeared into the floor.

  He then turned his attention to the Princess. "Well, sister, I see you are still up to your old tricks."

  The Princess englobed herself in the flaming aura and rose into the air, until she floated at the same level as the Prince. "And what of you, brother; come to protect your whores?"

  Eile and Sunny broke cover and ran for Differel.

  "You are one to talk, considering your
own depraved appetites."

  She started drifting closer to him, her hands filled with balls of orange fire. "At least I'm honest; unlike you and your delusional pretenses."

  Eile and Sunny reached the aristocrat and crouched down beside her.

  He stood up, and shafts of crackling, actinic light sprang from his hands. "It is not delusion to acknowledge life as it is rather than retreat behind insanity."

  "Oh, blah, blah, blah! You may talk the talk, brother, but can you walk the walk? I think not."

  "Longer and farther than you, sister." Without warning, he threw himself at her. They collided in mid air, but he did not fall. Instead they hovered as they spun around their common center, slashing, hitting, kicking, and grappling, as lightning and flame surrounded them, throwing off sparks with each connected blow. Concussive shock waves rippled out, bulging the walls, floor, and ceiling as the wooden bookcases and furniture splintered and the marble tiles split and cracked. The windows blew out one by one and the two doors creaked and groaned.

  Eile felt the waves crash into her, throwing her off balance. She and Sunny managed to drag Differel out from under the melee and get her to her feet.

  "We hafta get outta here!" Sunny squealed.

  "Yeah, we know, ya bimbo!" Eile replied.

  The three of them raced for the two doors. Eile reached them first, but when she yanked on one it refused to open.

  "Cripes, it's stuck!" She sidestepped to the other and tried it. "Jammed solid! We're trapped!"

  They turned and looked at the windows, but they lay on the side opposite the battle. The